So to speak.
It's in those moments when I have only to ask myself what it is I'm doing.
A lot of the time, I don't have an answer.
When I'm "thrown off of my horse", I usually take a beat to sit in the dirt and stare at the horse, wondering why it threw me off.
Bad horse.
It won't defend itself, saying as how it is, well, a horse, but in a way it does. Its silence is rebuking.
Sometimes I get too caught up in what I'm doing. Too focused on what's ahead, I look at the horizon, and what is to come or what I wish would come.
I don't focus on the things in front of my feet and I trip up; I slip, and I throw myself off.
Bad rider.
Today, I was in a slump. I kept thinking about futuristic things that I want, wishing I could have them now. My thoughts were so loud, I couldn't hear what was going on around me like my family and what they were doing, or thinking about, worried about, dreaming about.
That's when I hit the dirt, but I didn't stare at the horse, and I didn't ask, "hey, what was that for?"
I knew what it was for.
My sister played mini basketball in the kitchen, home from a trip to Ohio; I didn't ask her how it was. My dad talked about his sports bracket to no one in particular. Maybe to the dog, even though she was unconscious and snoring quite loudly; I didn't ask him who he picked. My mom drank a milk box (It's like a juice box...but milk. Straw and all) by the fridge, reminiscing and looking at the pictures of us as kids. Her eyes lingered on my brother. I know she misses him, as we all do and I know her heart was heavy, wishing his deployment would end early; I didn't hug her and tell her he'd be home soon.
"What, am I doing?" I asked, but the horse just stared, flicking its tail.
Life is too short to dwell on tomorrow, or to stare at the horizon of life. Watch where your feet are going before you trip and fall.
Don't wonder why your "horse" threw you off, reflect upon why you fell, then pick yourself up and get back on.
Don't miss out on what's going on right in front of you; the result doesn't help you.
I asked God, a while back, to give me someone to talk to. Loneliness bring out the natural human response of turning to the divine. But, prayer should never be a last resort.
Anyways, you know what He said?
Anyways, you know what He said?
Talk to Me.
So, I did. And you know what He said then?
"You do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away." James 4:14
Your life is short.
"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me." Revelation 3:20
But My life, is eternal.
Come, dine with me.
Get back on the horse.
 |
| Puddle view of my suburban backyard sunset. |
Post-Script:
I didn't know God would be giving me a horse a week after writing this. :D
PTL
