Submission: That Ugly, Dirty Word.

Written in 2017, published 2018, because college. I'm a year older and wiser than this post, but even I learned from reading the words I wrote a year ago. I hope they mean something to you, too.

Children are the furthest thing from my mind, half way through my twenty-first year of life, and yet their lessons are still ever lingering, even as I dive deeper into life while yet still in its early stages. The ways of children both haunt and amaze their parents, teachers, other children, theologians, but none more so than I when reading the revere with which Jesus considered children in the cosmological macro-scope. I've been reading from a book called Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster for a college class and I want to share something briefly about submission, that ugly, dirty word. I'm going to paraphrase since my book is buried in the rest of the collegiate material I've saved.

Power is discovered in submission.

Now, you might be thinking, Submission? What? That's completely counter to being independent and happy. I assure you it isn't. 

Submission, or as Foster puts it, self-denial, or for our purposes... submitting your will and your instincts to God and the needs of others, is not the same thing as self-contempt, or, in simpler terms, placing your own personal well-being as a lower priority in your life. At the same time, self-contempt, thinking down on ourselves, or only ever putting others above our own well-being suggests that we have NO worth, and even if we do have worth, we should reject it before the worth of others. 

Contrarily, self-denial without self-hatred declares that we are of infinite worth and the theory of it shows us how to realize that worth.

Let's break this down: 

Claim: Jesus made the ability to love ourselves the prerequisite for reaching out to others.

Warrant 1: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Matt. 22:39). 

Claim: Jesus made it quite clear that self-denial is the only sure way to love ourselves most fully.

Warrant 1: "He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it." (Matt. 10:39).

Warrant 2: "There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13).

Claim: Loving others means submission,  the beautiful kind.

Thesis: By self-emptying, we become filled.

This simple idea is so necessary to any exchange between any humans. Happy children give because it makes them happy. Their instinct is to make others happy, to be silly, accepting, and loving— the way Jesus meant "submissive". Submission to God —minute by minute— and concern for others primarily over ourselves— in any given moment—fills us with purpose, for submission is the ultimate design. Humans are wired to love, wired to hug, to shake hands, and to connect.

So this begs the question: why be selective about your love for mankind, when it's your quickest route to a smile, to fulfillment? 

Whether you're returning to the office after Christmas festivities, or the classroom, or staying home with the family, submission will always mean that the love you have for others is your primary concern, the same way my nephew Hunter desires to makes his family smile over discomfort, exhaustion, and snacks.

Jesus said to "Love your enemies"; if you can do this, you can love anyone. Pure, loving relationships are born from pure and honest characters. 

If you are responsible for your character, then does it not follow that you are also responsible for the relationships and —concurrently— the people you value and — conversely— do not value? If you value all relationships and make it known that this is so, even the store clerks will know you value them. To be valued, loved, is a need of human nature. It's where our worth is found.

Now, to live in a world where you're always at ease is a dream, but to live in a world where you endure life and overcome its qualms along with the ones you love and who love you, that can be your reality. Ultimately, whether that reality belongs to you or not is your choice. Do not stand in the way of your own happiness, only to wonder down the road where it is. Likewise, do not consciously remain the object of another's discomfort. Show everyone, even in your dullest of moods, that you love them, that Jesus loves them, and you, yourself, on your own can convey the story of Redemption through a single glance. After all, isn't that why we're here?

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these" (Matthew 19:14). 

Hunter, my step-nephew, Age 2. 

Them.

Warning: 

Paragraphs with more than 117 words ahead. 

It's too late to turn back now though, so you might as well read on. 

__________________________________________________________________________

This is not about me. 

This summer, this job— this ministry— it's not ... about ... me. 

It's about God, and it's about them— the campers. 

And they are coming. 

This beautiful, peaceful camp has been empty of them for a majority of the last three weeks, 

and now, they are coming. 

Today, at 4pm, Blind Camp starts. 

And— not to be funny, or smart, or punny or anything but sincere, 

but, I feel extraordinarily blinded by the things distracting me from my job today

 which is solely to prepare myself for them. 

But, thankfully, a coworker shared a worship thought last night which really hit home 

with me and this uneasy feeling I have, and I wanted to share it with you. 

So, here it goes. Picture this: 

You ordered pizza and you hear the doorbell ring. 

Hopeful and with great excitement/mild relief, you open the front door to see the pizza man. 

He has the box in hand and your mouth starts to water at the sight of it. 

When you take the box and begin to make your exchange, however, the box is completely and unmistakably filled with the disappointment and confusion you instantly put into it from realizing it is terribly empty. Your pizza is not there.

Now the box isn't worth much. But the pizza? The pizza gives the pizza box its value, hence your disheartened frown given to the delivery man in place of his tip.

Now, putting that into terms that will settle my uneasy feelings and hopefully make actual sense to you,  I am the box. You are the box.

And God gives me—us— weight, credibility, and purpose, or pizza— in pizza box analogies. 

Tracking? Good. This is too powerful to miss. But first, hold onto that; rabbit trail ensuing. 

God does not call the prepared, necessarily, all of the time. 

He prepares who He calls. Now, how AMAZING is that? Speaking of this very phenomenon,

I came to this place, to Camp Wakonda in the middle of nowhere in the cornfield-furnished parts of Wisconsin to follow God's call again, myself vastly and rather ghastly unprepared. Surprise? Naw. Last summer it was Montana after Angel Airways (Delta and actual angels) provided me a $1 plane ticket after a very specific prayer. Now, it's Wisconsin. ( It's as if I travel in the wind, I swear; you never know where I'll end up!)  In fact, I didn't even know what Wakonda was before physically bumping into the interview table at school. I got a bruise from that incident. No joke. But it was a good thing I did bump into that table because here I am, giving everything I can to God for Him to utilize and multiply like the fish and loaves fed to the multitude; Lord knows I can't multiply what I have to offer on my own. Hence the uneasy feeling— the blind feeling. 

I am going in blind. Me. But God has already gone before me this summer and has paved the way for all the work He will do through me. Who needs sight with a promise like that?? 

Am I nervous? Yes. (As stated above more than once). Am I excited, though? 

Oh— oh yes. 

I am just a vessel this summer though, much like last summer. A vessel for carrying the pizza. Whereas I went to them in Montana, going door to door on foot, this summer they are coming to me, in fleets, and all I have to do is trust and let Him fill me with the pizza, if you will— the right things to do and say, and the love, wisdom, and discernment— compassion—energy  I will need to pull children from the depths of their loneliness and the waves of their pain, the shallows of their selfishness, and the widths and boundless heights of their fears and inner turmoils. Perhaps I'll find a piece of myself a long the way. Or my whole self. (But that would be all too providential. There is always more to learn. Why else would we have these crazy adventures if we were going to suddenly discover all 1000000 pieces of ourselves in one go?)

M'kay. There ya go. I've said pretty much all I intended to. 

Blessings. :)

Ps. Mail address to be posted at a later date.

"This is not about me. 

This summer, this job— this ministry— it's not ... about ... me. 

It's about God, and it's about them— the campers. 

And they are coming. "

Faithful, Like Moss

They say moss grows on the north side of the tree. 

Unless, of course, you're in the southern hemisphere, then it mostly grows on the south side. 

Either way, no matter which hemisphere you're in, where there is moss, there is direction. 

There is something to be said for consistency and faithful guidance. 

From missioning last summer in Montana, to having almost completed my first year of college studying English and Spanish Translation, God's guidance has been faithful. His hand in it all has been sure. At every turn, around every tree, a sign to continue has been found.

From $1 plane tickets to Montana, down to the job I now have at Andrews University, to my new summer job working as a camp counselor this summer in Wisconsin, God has been guiding and providing and I am thankful. 

Doubts

Fears

Anxieties

They're all on the wrong side of the tree.  The side that leads astray.

The mossy side points homeward. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart 

and lean not on your own understanding. 

In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.  

Follow the moss. Follow the Creator. He will lead... 

Eyes On Christ

When Peter took his eyes off of Christ, he sank.
That's the Christian walk summed up right there in ten whole words.

But, that's only half of the story.
When Peter began to sink, and when he, a grown man, cried out in fear, there was that loving hand—Jesus' hand...

Outstretched. To save.

         Always to save...


Look not left, nor right, but straight ahead to Life, to safety, and to an assurance like none other.


Look to Christ.

And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” 32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.33 Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.”-Matthew 14:22-23

Because Angels Deliver The Mail

Then he (Jacob) dreamed, and behold, a ladder was set up on the earth, and its top reached to heaven; and there the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. Genesis 28:12

To: The Highest

From: A Poet On The Ground

Dear God,

I wrote You a poem, Lord,

and it started with "please".

I asked for your blessing

on one down on her knees.

It ended
in "Amen", a breath, and belief,

but if it should come to be, Lord,

that the answer is no, Lord,

I'll write you another poem,

and I'll start it again with "please".

But this time
I'll ask for your grace, and your peace,

Your righteousness— Your serenity.

I'll ask for Your mercy (if ever impatient I am to be).

Then I'll thank You, dear Lord,

For always hearing me, Lord,

For the cross bore at Calvary, Lord,

and for daily rescuing me.

Baby sister with the littler sister.

Why I Can't Stay Away: A Haphazard Narrative

Author's Note: Prepare for the length of this one, friends, for I've had a bit to think on. Also, you'll have to forgive me for starting mid-thought. Wonder not though, for I assure you —I spared not for brevity. 

~ ~ ~ 

That's the trouble with beautiful places; they're too difficult to leave. But then again, if they were easy to leave, I suppose there would be no longing to stay. So, maybe all is as it should be, just as it was tonight where I start my musing. 

After my "mouth surgery", which is an exaggerated way of saying the extraction of my wisdom teeth, I'd been pretty keen on lounging around the house for healing and the regaining of chewing abilities. Tonight, however, now four days past, I was in need of reprieve from my respite, and really, there was only one place I wanted to be, the inhabitants of which for the most part have four legs and a grass diet. Hardy Farms; I moved Levi there a year ago this June, just a few months after we first bought him. I'm sad to say my boy and I will be parting so soon and I know I said in a prior blog that parting doesn't make me sad. Well, allow me to singularly contradict myself. This parting of ways will ache softly for a while. That being said, Levi and I have had a good run together, a run made more beautiful by Hardy Farms. For that, I am grateful. 

Bonita, Levi's photogenic girlfriend. (She's a redhead).

 This particular evening held more beauty than I've ever seen out there in the last year. Perhaps it's because I haven't seen the sunset in four days due to post-surgical healing and such; perhaps it's because I sensed my approaching leave for the summer lying more directly in my foresight. Either way, save for the flies, it was a perfect night. To start, the sunset was definitely the heaviest I've ever witnessed.  I'm serious. Atop my horse rounding vast, white-fenced pastures kissed with pink and orange sun, wistful clouds drifting slowly to the East, geese choosing that moment to fly into the sunset in arrow formation, the blaze of the sunset offset by a cooling horizon, all whispered to me on the wind, you're leaving soon. 'Twas a bittersweet lullaby that lulled off the humid honeysuckle breeze; almost tantalizingly hanging intangible options in front of my gaze. Stay....the night tempted.
I cannot....I whispered back, breathing my resistance.

Go, said Levi. And it wasn't a go as in leave for good, like the silly notion I've periodically let slip into my vision of the future, but go as in "Yes, the sunset is nice, but hay is better and hay is that-a-way". That horse; he always knows what he wants. Given he lives moment by moment, but, still I envy his lack of indecision.

Levi tossed his head to tug at the reins—a slight suggestion— offering up his two cents. A moth fluttered around us, disappearing in the fields of white-haired dandelions under hoove. You're supposed to wish on those... and I did so thoughtfully, wishing for more nights like this one.

A young barn cat danced on the dirt road to my left as we rounded the last pasture, its tail twitching over curved back. There were many more cats living here now than when we first arrived. On this particular evening, every tenth foot traversed revealed a different set of paws, as if signaling the way around the pastures; they made rather adorable traffic guards, however little traffic there was tonight. As far as I'd seen, the only pair riding so close to sundown was reflected in a puddle Levi and I passed. Neither I nor the cats minded the solace.

I glanced up in my peripheral, per the suggestion of the twitching tail; the half-moon glanced back. On par with the pact well made at the dawn of this earth, the sun graciously bowed out of sharing the sky with its lunar counterpart, though they exchanged parting words a good while as they swapped look-outs with the clouds as their couriers. Their conversation a colorful show, a stream of silent words that passed through brilliant rays which simultaneously darkened and grew more saturated, greatly amused me from my seat on my horse, my wonderfully decorous horse.


Though I may digress, I dare point out his weakness in saying the approach of darkness frightens him. It's been in witnessing Levi's increasing anxiety that I've come to admire the power of darkness. To explain Levi's fear, in which he is unquestionably not alone, the oppressive nature of the unknown is modeled in the small and utterly exposed feeling it exacts on large beings...Examples of such beings existing in the form of animals that fear all, despite being bound in a metric ton of body weight with the ability to crush and kill by accident.

I return, however, to my musing. We ended our lap in a tight circle that allowed me to face the sunset before it dipped away into the tree line; for once, Levi didn't fight the one step backward. I appreciated the finality in his allowance. Call me dramatic. After that, I untacked him by my car and set the torn dressage saddle I'd been given from someone's garage in my trunk; this last year I'd treated it as my prize. God had provided all we needed and then some to enjoy our time together over the last year. Every gifted item brought a smile to my face. The horse world is a wonderful world and one I've been blessed to have been apart of.

After returning Levi to his pasture, I passed the owner of the farm checking on a mare in foal; she was expected to give birth anytime tonight. New life. I smiled.

Dazzlin', the mama-to-be.

I headed back to my car, sweeping the farm one last time. The wind moved, the horse tails moved to swat at flies, the clouds were on the move, and soon I would be too, and yet, everything was still. So still. That's one of a thousand reasons why I can't stay away. Somewhere, sometime, someone commanded the stillness of this world. All that was requested in exchange for that stillness was the acknowledgement of the omnipotence of the One Who Calmed The Seas.
"Be still and know that I am God". 
Psalms 46:10

I took a deep breath to take in the advice. I could do this.

For me, tonight's great sunset and peaceful, easy ride with my old trail horse symbolized the end of our run together. At least, that's how I see it for now. I can't tell what will happen for sure beyond today; I'm leaving him behind for the summer to mission in Montana, and that's that. You might be thinking, for lack of personal interest, he's just a horse. You're right. Though his well being is of great concern to me. And believe me, if he fit in a suit case, I'd check him in a heartbeat, PITA forgiving. But he doesn't, and when I return the first of August, who know's how much time I'll have for leisure, for college awaits me mid-August.
Perhaps I'll find a way to take him with me and board him in Berrien Springs. Perhaps I'll find him a new running partner with better shoes and more stamina closer to home. Perhaps, I just don't know.

Either way, if chance would have it that we never run again, and if by chance it were that tonight be one of the last memories of us constructed of only a picture-perfect evening and a short but thoroughly enjoyed ride with my old boy,  to me, I think it's safe to say it would be the finest of farewells.




Go in peace. The presence of the Lord be with you on your way. -Judges 18:6
                               

                             ~ ~ ~

This Is The Way Of Love

There was a moment, on March 29th, 2012, when Innocence looked into the eyes of Understanding and Understanding was filled with envy.

***
Loss is rarely accompanied by forgetfulness, no matter how much we might wish it were so, and no matter how small, the feelings left behind sting for a good while. In fact, I still remember everything about the day my dog of fourteen years passed in our kitchen in my mother's arms some time back. Yet, I can't remember what his face looked like now. It's funny; time has a way of taking memories and distorting them, inserting emotion into the gaps to fill the void. But, when people die, other people remember. Emotion, when inspired by other people, especially when paired with pain, rarely does not surpass the fleeting.

***

I remember looking into the hazel eyes of Innocence as I weakly handed him a funeral home toy to play with. I had tried to hide the tears, but you don't miss much at five. Innocence accepted the toy but reached out to me in return.

      "Are you sad for Daddy?" He asked me, quietly in contrast to the noise of the room, but directly.
***

They say you can feel it—really feel it, when your heart breaks and transcends beyond the realm of the figure of speech.  I did.

***
      "Yes, I'm sad for your Daddy," I whispered, a bit taken aback.

I couldn't look him in the eye after that. Those hazel eyes, with only five years of memories in their film-tapes, looked past my exterior and instilled an unsettling question in me. A question I wouldn't answer until tonight, three years and nearly a month later.

'I remember daily the death resulting in loss and heart-ache that affects my life, but do I daily remember the One who died to change that, Who died to give me life?'

At the time, I dared not answer what would require a change in heart.

People remember people. They remember how people made them feel, how they were treated, what they accomplished, what time they shared together, and people remember the time they missed out on. At the same time, God watches all of it happen.

The God who lost his Son to mankind's redemption, but held fast His own gaze into the eyes of Joy with omniscient understanding, remembers every bit of time this planet has been in motion and with it every battered, beaten, and broken heart that ever filled its void. Glory in the highest, His name is Immanuel..."God is with us". And with us always, God remembers the daddies and the sisters, the selfish, the beloved, and the outcasts. God, the one who holds the date of Calvary etched in His hands and feet, He, Immanuel, remembers the sinners; He remembers you and me. The difference is, unlike me, bound to hiding tears whilst looking into the eyes of Innocence, so taken aback by the directness and uncovered strength undoubtedly reflected off his mother on that day, God has promised that "there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no pain, for the former things [will] have passed away." Rev 21:4

So tonight I remember those beautifully deep hazel eyes that secretly instilled a life-changing question in the tares of my heart, and I remember my Savior who rescued me. Who rescued you. I remember that God will wipe clean the slate of this world and with it all the tears of the broken who remember Calvary and the Lamb Who was slain for mankind, holding on to the promises with their own lives. I also greatly look forward to the fact that there will come a day when Understanding looks into the eyes of Innocence and is no longer filled with envy, for Understanding will be paired with joy, not pain, for this is the way of the Lord and the Lord does not look back with pain, but onward with love, for love is hopeful. And this?

This is the way of love.

In loving Memory of James Craig Whitton who encouraged my love for God and for writing with his own.

John 15:12

For Dummies

Proverbs 8:17 

I love those that love me, and those who seek me diligently will find me.




I was at a garage sale the other day and in this lady's garage, on a table full of books, was a stack of 'How To's and 'For Dummies' books. I always find those funny, so I thumbed through them.

The stack of titles read a little something like this:

• How to Get Divorced Successfully
• How to Make a Souffle 
• Religion For Dummies
• Knitting For Dummies
• How to Stop Smoking
• How to Coupon
• Finding Purpose For Dummies

I fought hard to suppress my laughter. After all, the elderly lady was standing a foot or two away to make sure I didn't steal anything and plus, I didn't want to be rude. 

What I found the most peculiar, (and I mean to tell you, I didn't mean to psychoanalyze her, but it happens sometimes...I can't help it) was the range of topics in that little stack. 

From marital struggles, to fiances, God complexes, drug abuse, and time filling, this lady had most probably (judging by the books....YES the covers) seen it all. 

Who knows what was really going on in her life, or what HAD gone on. Only God truly knows, but if there is one thing I do know, I didn't see the one book the owner of that stack should have had in her possession. 

Perhaps it was under her bed somewhere collecting dust. 

Maybe it was on her nightstand. 

Maybe she's up to date with the kids these days and has it on her phone. (Honestly, I would take the real deal over the app any day, but when I have to, that app is pretty nifty!) Who knows?

 God knows.

Personally, I hope she was selling those books because she had no need for them anymore, not because she'd read them cover to cover. 

My prayer:

May you never have need for any other book, or strength, or reason for existing than God's.  

Reason why? God's book, God's strength, and God's purpose for your life is FAR better than anything you'll find in between the cover page and the footnotes of a 'For Dummies' book.

 All that's required of you is faith, trust, and a seeking heart.

Sister and Levi

Priceless Postage

I find myself running to my corner more and more as I see less and less of the world I used to know. As they say, innocence lost is sight gained in the sense of this world..for innocence can often be blinding. Yet, still I am reminded of Paul; blinded for the sole purpose of gaining sight. Interesting, isn't it? But God's sight is not of this world. So how unexpected is it, really?

In these moments, I find myself running to my corner to reign in my thoughts, gather my wits, and to bow the knee. Though more often than not as I make a routine of this, instead of meeting God in our corner and taking Him with me, it troubles me to say I leave Him there. 

Did Paul run with his new gifts of change of heart, name, path, and perspective on life only to forget the Giver? 

If so, I must have missed that part. 

I don't ever want to go a minute anywhere without knowing I've being sent as Paul was, as a letter for every man to see, with God's postage on my outward and His thunderous voice that formed mountains and counts the stars on my inward. Tonight, this is my prayer as I sit in my corner with my knees bowed and heart strings knotted. Tonight, I count my blessings as the stars and am thankful God's faithfulness out stands the mountains even when mine doesn't. 

Redemption

From the very beginning, Earth's chances were non-existent; the odds were always against Earth. Charged with being the throne on top of which the prince of this world sits, Earth is condemned to its consistency. Rotate, orbit, rotate more, orbit again, suffer the inhabitancy of man, rotate.  If the earth had a voice, would it object to its sentence? Would it ask to be removed from under Satan's rod? Or would it, too, accept that God will one day make it anew? That one day, a city of purest gold from God's refinery will be its ornamentation?

God doesn't say He will restore us to our former design. 

 No, Earth will no longer be subject to frail chance and demolished probability, but rather, it will have the strength, power, and eternal glory of God's redeeming love. 

If the Earth had a voice, I'm positive it wouldn't object to that. 

Would you? 

Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.” And He said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son."(Revelation 21:4-7 NKJV)

Kneel; You're Bona Fide.

"Please kneel as we come before our Creator in prayer."
I bowed my head, I folded my hands, and I closed my eyes.
I even scooted forward in the pew, but there I remained; in the pew. It mattered not the positions of those around me, that much I knew. I also knew I didn't kneel. I suppose I  couldn't with my heart as full of things unsuitable for a temple as mine was at that moment.

"Lord Jesus, we come before you....humbled."

Windows...they're peculiar things. They are portals, put more accurately, but windows all the same.
When a window is closed, things have to pry the window open to crawl in. When it's opened, things tend to grow wings and fly out.

One of the things unsuitable for a temple jumped into the window of my heart, making it thump a bit faster.

That's when I heard His voice in my head, saying, "Push them out. All of the things inside the window? Just, let them fly to me."
But rather than listening to Him, I let another thing unsuitable for a temple crawl in.

How is it that we, the sinful, the terrible, the blemished, could ever....reasonably, with any logic to boot, POSSIBLY feel exempt from kneeling?

I was not exempt and I most certainly didn't FEEL exempt...I just felt unworthy. Which makes little to no sense, I know. Which is why I'm baffled so!
I literally felt unworthy....to come before the Lord.... unworthy.

-That's pretty unworthy- 

But, you see, we all are unworthy. Not one of us is worthy to fall before God and exclaim just how unworthy we are. 

-Yet He loves us anyway- 

 I wish I could doubly italics the statement above, for I do believe there is not enough emphasis in all of the world to rightfully merit those words. 

It's a good thing I fathomed just how unfathomable that is before the prayer ended...'else I would have dropped to my knees and knelt with all of me 'till the sun didn't shine. 

And suddenly, the window flew open, the things unsuitable for a temple flew out, and God, praise His name, flew in. 

My friends, the joy that comes with knowing He loves us anyway is incredible. 

Open the windows to your heart, the portals to what makes you, you, and let God flood every corner of your heart. It's as simple as saying, "Lord, take everything from me and fill my heart." Let no space be vacant of His grace or filled with something unsuitable for a temple. Furnish your temple with God and His mercies; I promise you won't be sorry you did. 

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.- Romans 5:6-8

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.- Galations 2:20


God made you worthy; He paid your ransom and bought your rightful place with Him. You're  legitimate. You're a bona fide child of God, so kneel and give thanks with your heart, your wounds, your scars,  and your dreams all lain humbly upon His feet. 

The Cure for Heart Disease

"Yeah, well, too many people die because of guns," I heard one say.

               "Guns don't kill people, people do," the other countered. 

"Well if that's the case, then America has a heart problem not a gun problem." 

***

There it was; the answer.

  Diseased hearts. 

America's heart is sick. 

***

"Hearts are harder to pass laws for, though," one remarked.

"That is for sure," the other whispered.

***

God made laws for the heart. Ten of them, in fact. 

They are right there in Deuteronomy 5:1-22. 

Not nine, not four, ten. 

They were meant to protect hearts, reverse heart disease. 

Jesus said, "If you love me, keep my commandments." John 14:15

Sounds good to me. 

Reckless Abandon

I bet it went something like this~

*                                                                                                                                                              
"I'll go," The Son said plainly.

The Father shook His head. 

"I know." 

"It's the only way," The Son pleaded. 

God looked down into the world, a tear sliding down His magnificent face; His heart broken.

"Alright," The Father whispered painfully.

*                                                                                                                                                               

Did Heaven grow quiet in that instance? Did God's resolve waver for even a fraction of a second?" Did Jesus even consider what He would be leaving behind?

How could a love like that be? 

A love so strong, so unconditional, that our Creator would give up His heavenly being and place with The Father, to become the sole bearer of our sins? 

Incomprehensible. 

Unimaginable. 

Truly wonderful. 

How can I live without Him, abandoning Him recklessly, when He died for me with reckless abandon? 

It's a rhetorical question; I can't. 

John 3:16 

For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him, should not perish, but have everlasting life.

When Lightening Strikes

She has Jesus, I saw Him in her heart.
I have a hole; I felt it in mine.
***

The winds had really picked up speed. The wind howled through the bramble and treetops, bending some over, twisting some backward.
"Some weather," one said.
"I love a good, messy thunderstorm," said another.
"Good for sleeping," they both agreed.
***
"Target acquired," relayed the thunder to the lightening.
"Send me the coordinates," replied the lightening.
"Help!" cried the tallest thing in the field.
The crickets scratched their heads.
***
There was a wise man. He built his house on the rock.
There was a foolish man. He built his house on the sand.
The rains came, and you know how the rest of the story goes.
***
In the midst of the raging storm, men sleep. Why? Because apparently, safety is something you worry about after the wind has taken your house and left you the tallest thing in the field.
***
"Both were accounted for," the woman began.
"There was the man I saw, but didn't know, and the man I knew, but wouldn't see."

My conclusion after hearing all of the above today:

Jesus is both, until you let Him fill the hole in your heart. Don't wait until you're the tallest thing under an electric sky to safe-guard your being; give God your everything, let Him hold down the fort and shield you from the storm until morning comes.

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor death, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 8:38-39

The Call To Answer

I walked past them, eyeing them; my subconscious took over and immediately, I was on defense.

"And I thought you were supposed to be Switzerland," my conscious whispered.

My subconscious argued back, (Don't worry...it happens frequently).

"They look rough...and see, they're smoking". My feet, siding with my subconscious, traveled away from them. 

Everyone of them looked worn out and heavily burdened. 
It was written all over their faces. 

"Do you not have something written on your heart?" came His inquiry.  

My pace quickened. 

Suddenly, the Great Controversy glow tract in my hand felt like a rock.  

Though perhaps...? No. 

Was my heart...becoming the rock? Surely not...

I rounded the corner, then, and found myself in a sea of people. I tried turning around, and I was about to go back, when the Worn Out and Heavily Burdened piled into an even rougher-looking car and drove away. 

"Megan..." His voice trailed off. 

Though I was almost half convinced I had begun to trail off....from listening. 

They were gone. And the glow tract no longer felt like a rock, but an anvil. 

My anvil to carry ...all the way home. 

Shame... That's what I felt.
Shame for holding back. 

Shame for keeping silent. 

And friends, that shame dissipated when I thought of His words, His words that speak for themselves, "That you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?" (Matthew 5:45, 46 NKJV).

I stopped dead in my tracks. 

Why have God's Word written on your heart, if you're never going to read it aloud? 

If not me, then who? 

"And if anyone hears My words and does not believe, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world." (John 12:47 NKJV)  

Lord, 

rewrite my nature, secure your mission in me, renew my spirit and cleanse me of all that is not befitting of You. Make me a servant, humble and meek.

Amen. 

Sure Footing

I could ask, 'What doesn't keep us from stumbling?', but the answer would exceed time.
So the better question becomes-

What…..Keeps us from stumbling? 

Nothing. 

No ropes, no safety net, no props to hold us up….. 

Nothing. 

But then I am reminded.

Not unkindly, I might add, but I am reminded still- 

I hold you; I keep you from stumbling. 

Simple, powerful. (Two words I have come to respect when assimilating them to God's direction).

"Ah, yes-  You do, " comes my reply. 

That's when my horse, stumbles.

I lurch forward in the saddle, brought back to the moment. 

A small rock, nothing big. Just a jut in the trail that threw Levi off balance the slightest before regaining his step. 

My vision refocuses and I am keen to watch his footing once again. 

"Careful…watch out for that one…..Good boy.....," my voice flutters to his ears; they swivel at the sound.

I lean forward and pet the length of his fuzzy neck; he tosses his head, his medium-length Oreo mane swooshing with the movement. 

Here's the difference-

If Levi goes down, I go down. We are one like that. 

If I go down God remains still, unmoved. 

His footing is sure. 

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, 

To God our Savior, who alone is wise, 

be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever. Amen.

 Jude 1:24 

"With exceeding joy". 

Did you get that? I did. :)

It brings Him JOY to keep me from stumbling. To keep YOU from stumbling. 

" I'd rather have Jesus," 

I hum the hymn silently.

'Yes, yes I would.'

My gem, Levi. 

"It's bittersweet,".

What does that even mean??

Something is either bitter....or its sweet.

Levi, newest family member.

Right? 

Though, I suppose dark chocolate doesn't fit that bill. It's a little of both.  

It's like awkward chocolate, assuming you've tasted it.  And yes, I just made that up. 

What? I much prefer milk chocolate. (Just saying)

Describing something as bittersweet...is like saying,

"Hey, this is really terrible, but i'm glad it's happening,".

What even...?

Matthew 26:54-

"How then, could the Scriptures be fulfilled?" 

While in the arms of the men there to arrest Him, Jesus asked this of one of those who had been with Him who had cut off a servant's ear, ready to fight for Jesus by sword. (The metal kind).

Jesus reprimanded the man, knowing that in order for the Bible and its foretelling, written BY God, to be realized, He had to be taken to the judges, convicted, and crucified.

Fighting was never in the plan. 

Everything Christ endured...was for us. 

Now that's, awkward chocolate.

If there was one word on Jesus' mind as He allowed Himself to be arrested, rather than praying to His Father for those twelve legions of angels he mentioned in Verse 53 to come swooping in to the rescue,(Matt 26:53), it had to have been the one and only word: 

"Bittersweet".

 Ending one day, to start another.
How's that for bittersweet?

The Surrender

"..Be still and know that I am God..." Psalms 46:10

Such simplicity, such power.

Yet..still, I don't.

Why?

Because I have yet to surrender.  Surrender everything...

I am still holding on to portions of my heart.

Profession without concession leaves very little room for honest intercession. I can not possibly profess my faith without conceding all of me to God.

It's time to be still, surrender all, and know that He is God.

It's time to give Him every portion of my heart.