Bad Rider

Sometimes, I get thrown off the horse.

So to speak.

It's in those moments when I have only to ask myself what it is I'm doing.

A lot of the time, I don't have an answer. 

When I'm "thrown off of my horse",  I usually take a beat to sit in the dirt and stare at the horse, wondering why it threw me off.

Bad horse.

It won't defend itself, saying as how it is, well, a horse, but in a way it does. Its silence is rebuking. 

Sometimes I get too caught up in what I'm doing. Too focused on what's ahead, I look at the horizon, and what is to come or what I wish would come. 

I don't focus on the things in front of my feet and I trip up; I slip, and I throw myself off. 

Bad rider.

Today, I was in a slump. I kept thinking about futuristic things that I want, wishing I could have them now. My thoughts were so loud, I couldn't hear what was going on around me like my family and what they were doing, or thinking about, worried about, dreaming about.

That's when I hit the dirt, but I didn't stare at the horse, and I didn't ask, "hey, what was that for?"

I knew what it was for.

My sister played mini basketball in the kitchen, home from a trip to Ohio; I didn't ask her how it was. My dad talked about his sports bracket to no one in particular. Maybe to the dog, even though she was unconscious and snoring quite loudly; I didn't ask him who he picked. My mom drank a milk box (It's like a juice box...but milk. Straw and all) by the fridge, reminiscing and looking at the pictures of us as kids. Her eyes lingered on my brother. I know she misses him, as we all do and I know her heart was heavy, wishing his deployment would end early; I didn't hug her and tell her he'd be home soon.

"What, am I doing?" I asked, but the horse just stared, flicking its tail. 

Life is too short to dwell on tomorrow, or to stare at the horizon of life. Watch where your feet are going before you trip and fall. 

Don't wonder why your "horse" threw you off, reflect upon why you fell, then pick yourself up and get back on. 

Don't miss out on what's going on right in front of you; the result doesn't help you.

I asked God, a while back,  to give me someone to talk to. Loneliness bring out the natural human response of turning to the divine. But, prayer should never be a last resort.

 Anyways, you know what He said?

Talk to Me. 

So, I did. And you know what He said then?

"You do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away." James 4:14

Your life is short. 

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me." Revelation 3:20

But My life, is eternal. 

Come, dine with me. 

Get back on the horse. 

Puddle view of my suburban backyard sunset.

Post-Script:

I didn't know God would be giving me a horse a week after writing this. :D

PTL

Converting A Cave Bat

While my mind is still focused on the enrapture of light, I reflect.

I sit cross-legged, staring at an illuminated computer screen on my bed; an uncertain ray of light spills out onto my bed from my window through the break in the wall of curtain hanging in place to hinder such rays. The little leak of light lands on my face. The curtain moves a fraction and the ray finds my eyes.


Sigh.


Blinded.


Yes, I'm a cave bat.


I back away from the light as to open my eyes, reach forward and reassert the curtain's former light-countering posture.

I sit back and continue on.

My eyebrows furrow, my nose crinkles, and I can't help but laugh , then, as I read in my Bible later on.

The city had no need of the sun or 

of the moon to shine in it,

for the glory of God illuminated it.

The Lamb is its light.

Revelation 21:23

Huh.... God's very presence is light.

Yeah I better suck it up. 

I immediately rush to the curtains, then and throw them apart.  

Consider me persuaded.

God's Glory over  Lake Champlain, NewYork

 Lamar enjoying some sun.

Light Switch

In Him was life, and the life was the light of men." -John 1:4

 Do you ever walk into a dark and unfamiliar room and search  for the light switch, but to no avail?

                                                             ***

That's when I see it. I see it in a face. No... not "it", but "Him". I see Him.

When I see His face...My inner dark corner is suddenly illuminated; my eyes can see.

Ah...so there's the light switch. 

"Excuse me...Sir, do I know you?" I ask. He nods and answers me, His eyes smiling, "Yes, and I, you." 

I can't help but wonder how, for I know ...surely, that I've never seen this man before. 

But, I have seen this man before. 

I've seen Him in the face of pure and humble men, I've heard Him in my parent's prayers, and I've spent time with Him in His word...for He IS the Word. 

Yes....oh yes, I know Him.

Oscar Wilde said once, "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation". 

What if- who I was composed of was just one person? What if that person was Jesus? 

All who see me, talk to me, spend time with me, would they know Him, too? 

"I have come as a light into the world, that whoever
believes in me should not abide in darkness." -John 12:46

If then, when they saw Him and looked into His face, would they have to ask who He was if they had seen His face reflected in mine? 

No; They wouldn't have to live in a dark corner with their hands feeling the walls for the light switch, they would already know.

This is my prayer today-

Lord, help me to live in You, so that You can live in me. Change my heart and fill me with your love and light so that the only face they see when others look into mine, is Your's. Amen. 

I smile at the man, then; I am overjoyed. 

"You are Jesus." 

It isn't a question. 

He smiles, holds His nail-pierced hand out to me,

and bids me follow; I go. 

"Awake, you who sleep, 

Arise from the dead,

And Christ will give you light." 

Ephesians 5:14