When Lightening Strikes

She has Jesus, I saw Him in her heart.
I have a hole; I felt it in mine.
***

The winds had really picked up speed. The wind howled through the bramble and treetops, bending some over, twisting some backward.
"Some weather," one said.
"I love a good, messy thunderstorm," said another.
"Good for sleeping," they both agreed.
***
"Target acquired," relayed the thunder to the lightening.
"Send me the coordinates," replied the lightening.
"Help!" cried the tallest thing in the field.
The crickets scratched their heads.
***
There was a wise man. He built his house on the rock.
There was a foolish man. He built his house on the sand.
The rains came, and you know how the rest of the story goes.
***
In the midst of the raging storm, men sleep. Why? Because apparently, safety is something you worry about after the wind has taken your house and left you the tallest thing in the field.
***
"Both were accounted for," the woman began.
"There was the man I saw, but didn't know, and the man I knew, but wouldn't see."

My conclusion after hearing all of the above today:

Jesus is both, until you let Him fill the hole in your heart. Don't wait until you're the tallest thing under an electric sky to safe-guard your being; give God your everything, let Him hold down the fort and shield you from the storm until morning comes.

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor death, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 8:38-39

The Call To Answer

I walked past them, eyeing them; my subconscious took over and immediately, I was on defense.

"And I thought you were supposed to be Switzerland," my conscious whispered.

My subconscious argued back, (Don't worry...it happens frequently).

"They look rough...and see, they're smoking". My feet, siding with my subconscious, traveled away from them. 

Everyone of them looked worn out and heavily burdened. 
It was written all over their faces. 

"Do you not have something written on your heart?" came His inquiry.  

My pace quickened. 

Suddenly, the Great Controversy glow tract in my hand felt like a rock.  

Though perhaps...? No. 

Was my heart...becoming the rock? Surely not...

I rounded the corner, then, and found myself in a sea of people. I tried turning around, and I was about to go back, when the Worn Out and Heavily Burdened piled into an even rougher-looking car and drove away. 

"Megan..." His voice trailed off. 

Though I was almost half convinced I had begun to trail off....from listening. 

They were gone. And the glow tract no longer felt like a rock, but an anvil. 

My anvil to carry ...all the way home. 

Shame... That's what I felt.
Shame for holding back. 

Shame for keeping silent. 

And friends, that shame dissipated when I thought of His words, His words that speak for themselves, "That you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?" (Matthew 5:45, 46 NKJV).

I stopped dead in my tracks. 

Why have God's Word written on your heart, if you're never going to read it aloud? 

If not me, then who? 

"And if anyone hears My words and does not believe, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world." (John 12:47 NKJV)  

Lord, 

rewrite my nature, secure your mission in me, renew my spirit and cleanse me of all that is not befitting of You. Make me a servant, humble and meek.

Amen. 

Sure Footing

I could ask, 'What doesn't keep us from stumbling?', but the answer would exceed time.
So the better question becomes-

What…..Keeps us from stumbling? 

Nothing. 

No ropes, no safety net, no props to hold us up….. 

Nothing. 

But then I am reminded.

Not unkindly, I might add, but I am reminded still- 

I hold you; I keep you from stumbling. 

Simple, powerful. (Two words I have come to respect when assimilating them to God's direction).

"Ah, yes-  You do, " comes my reply. 

That's when my horse, stumbles.

I lurch forward in the saddle, brought back to the moment. 

A small rock, nothing big. Just a jut in the trail that threw Levi off balance the slightest before regaining his step. 

My vision refocuses and I am keen to watch his footing once again. 

"Careful…watch out for that one…..Good boy.....," my voice flutters to his ears; they swivel at the sound.

I lean forward and pet the length of his fuzzy neck; he tosses his head, his medium-length Oreo mane swooshing with the movement. 

Here's the difference-

If Levi goes down, I go down. We are one like that. 

If I go down God remains still, unmoved. 

His footing is sure. 

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, 

To God our Savior, who alone is wise, 

be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever. Amen.

 Jude 1:24 

"With exceeding joy". 

Did you get that? I did. :)

It brings Him JOY to keep me from stumbling. To keep YOU from stumbling. 

" I'd rather have Jesus," 

I hum the hymn silently.

'Yes, yes I would.'

My gem, Levi. 

"It's bittersweet,".

What does that even mean??

Something is either bitter....or its sweet.

Levi, newest family member.

Right? 

Though, I suppose dark chocolate doesn't fit that bill. It's a little of both.  

It's like awkward chocolate, assuming you've tasted it.  And yes, I just made that up. 

What? I much prefer milk chocolate. (Just saying)

Describing something as bittersweet...is like saying,

"Hey, this is really terrible, but i'm glad it's happening,".

What even...?

Matthew 26:54-

"How then, could the Scriptures be fulfilled?" 

While in the arms of the men there to arrest Him, Jesus asked this of one of those who had been with Him who had cut off a servant's ear, ready to fight for Jesus by sword. (The metal kind).

Jesus reprimanded the man, knowing that in order for the Bible and its foretelling, written BY God, to be realized, He had to be taken to the judges, convicted, and crucified.

Fighting was never in the plan. 

Everything Christ endured...was for us. 

Now that's, awkward chocolate.

If there was one word on Jesus' mind as He allowed Himself to be arrested, rather than praying to His Father for those twelve legions of angels he mentioned in Verse 53 to come swooping in to the rescue,(Matt 26:53), it had to have been the one and only word: 

"Bittersweet".

 Ending one day, to start another.
How's that for bittersweet?

The Surrender

"..Be still and know that I am God..." Psalms 46:10

Such simplicity, such power.

Yet..still, I don't.

Why?

Because I have yet to surrender.  Surrender everything...

I am still holding on to portions of my heart.

Profession without concession leaves very little room for honest intercession. I can not possibly profess my faith without conceding all of me to God.

It's time to be still, surrender all, and know that He is God.

It's time to give Him every portion of my heart.

Point-Blank Metaphors

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord.
They are plans for good and not for disaster,
to give you a future and a hope.
In those days when you pray, I will listen.
If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."
Jeremiah 29:11-13

~~~ Feeling as though I couldn't take one more minute of shutting Him out, I pulled off my socks and unlocked the back porch slider. Pushing it open, I stepped through the threshold and onto the deck. The old greenish wood—damp from the rain—underfoot. ~~~

Now, I was going to say "I stepped through my humanity and accepted God's grace", but not EVERYTHING is a metaphor.  Besides, I already used the word "threshold".  And that would spoil the moral...sort of like I just did. . .

English-brains...We honestly prefer metaphors over point-blank statements! It's just more fun that way. I guess that's why parables reach us so... Jesus was an expert in speaking metaphorically, you know.

 BUT anyway, back to the moment.

~~~ My Bible in hand, I sat down in the the white wicker bench just beneath the kitchen window; the light from the house spilled out into my lap.  

I never know what I am going to read when I open my Bible in moments like this one. All I know is that I come to God and ask Him to show me what He needs me to read, and without fail, He does. 

I flipped to Matthew 20, The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard.

A group of workers was hired to work in a man's vineyard for an agreed upon wage of 1 denarius a day. The workers worked for 11 hours and were paid. Another group of workers was paid the same amount, but only worked for 1 hour, for they came late to the party having only been hired hours before. When the workers who had worked 11 hours found out that they were paid the same wage as those who had only worked an hour, they got a little bit upset.

Okay, a lot upset; it was a hot day and they worked 11 hours. You probably would have been angry, too.  The vineyard owner told them that it was only fair, for he paid them what they agreed on. 

I took a couple of things from this parable, but the most important of these are as follows: 

Moral #1 All are equal in the eyes of God; this goes for judgement as well. 

Moral#2 Many are called, but few are chosen. Matt 20:16

Moral#3 Even if you're just now learning about God at the part of your life you're living currently, your reward in Heaven will be the same as those who have known God their whole lives.
Moral#4 Better late than never, so start now. 

I'm going to expand on the last three. 

I've always known God, but we were always more like... forced acquaintances, never acquired friends. 

In fact, growing up with God can sometimes have the opposite result of the desired effect. Instead of holding Him dear, children, teens, adults, doesn't matter how long that they have known of God, they can live a majority of that time shutting Him out. Sometimes, they don't even know they have. 

When I realized that I wanted to fix our relationship and acquire a friendship with God along the way, (because it most certainly doesn't come over night), I decided that I needed to refocus. So, I quit school extracurriculars that were dragging me down spiritually and other things that held my attention time-wise. Once I had freed up my time, I decided that I wanted to do mission work and down the line, I would minor in Theology while majoring in English. (After all, I am an English-brain). Then, the vision grew and twisted, then suddenly I needed to take a year off from school to mission, go overseas, solve world hunger and BAM. I lost focus. I lost focus quickly.

M'kay...Woah, slow down. "Many are called, but few are chosen". What does that mean?
*English-brain scratches her head*

It means, not everything is a metaphor. Go and serve, stay faithful to God? I can do that anywhere. 

Point-blank. It means, that my mission may be here, doing what God wants. Not what I think I need to be doing, where I think I need to be doing it. In the end, a missionary here is a missionary there, doing the same things, right? Showing people the love of God, winning hearts for God. That could be a task in my own home! So...it shouldn't matter where; if God calls, I'll answer. If God chooses, I'll take it in stride. 

About #3, I have always known of God, but I never knew God. I'm changing that slowly. Though 

sometimes I get discouraged by my humanity and ignore God's grace. I ignore His endless grace and love and mercy...because I think I'm unworthy. Who am I to decide that??? Jesus DIED for me, to make me worthy. He DIED for me! HE decided I was worthy. Enough said. God promises eternal life, if we would only accept. How could we refuse an offer like that? 

#4. You know it well, the saying, "Better late than never". I can choose to ignore God for the rest of my life until I am no longer strong enough to do a thing about it, or I can choose to open my heart and finally stop shutting Him out. I've already determined He made me worthy for His love, so...what's keeping me? Who's holding me back? 

 I am. 

So, tonight, while sitting on the deck on the wicker bench, my Bible in my hand and my burdens at His feet, I dropped the metaphors and grand precepts I hadn't consulted God on and shut out my false reservations, trading them for— you guessed it— God. 

You know the story metaphor of the marriage with Christ, right? The one where we become one, "exchange vows", and our vows are weaknesses and His are glory. 

Honestly, it's not a fair trade; my reservations could never compare in magnitude. They are so....pitifully small... in comparison to God's fullness! So, metaphorically speaking, I am sold on Christ.

~~~I stood up on the deck,  after hashing out this mental battle. I made a promise then, to take God's love without question, striving only to let Him shape my mind. The feeling that came over me as I walked back to the door, my bare-feet stepping in small puddles, the breeze picking up my curls, can only be described as peace. 

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Lift With The Legs And A Little Bit Of Trust

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
 In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct thy paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

So there I sat in the only patch of awakened grass in my sleeping Michigan yard. It's funny, Michigan's tagline goes from "Pure Michigan" in the warm seasons, to "Michigan, where brown is the new green" in the cold, though the tourist signs only ever show the first. 

I ran my hands over the new grass and looked into the aging night sky; it wasn't very cold out, but it was a rather dark night and useless for moonlight reading, for the moon was masked by clouds, unlikely to show anytime soon.

 It hadn't been an easy week, and with Sabbath already opened, I wanted my mind cleared. I stared up into the heavens, praying for a glimpse of a star, or a silver lining, anything that would take my mind off of the things it seemed stapled to.

Nothing.

A bit disappointed, I began to get up. My phone in one hand and my Bible in the other, I stood and looked through the darkness at my surrounding neighbors. All lights were off and the neighborhood, like most of everything, was asleep. Except for me, of course.

I said my final prayers, watching the clouds drift languidly, my heart sinking. Right as I was about to turn back towards the house, however, the sky illuminated a little, and so did my yard, then so did the scripture in my opened Bible.
This caught my eye:

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
and saves such that have a contrite spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivers him out of them all.
Psalms 34:17-19

A small, grateful smile grew not on my face, but in my heart. I glanced up into the sky again, and just for a moment, the moon was unveiled, shining, casting light down onto my part of the world.
The smile spread to my face.

Once I felt lighter, I watched the moon dip silently back behind another mass of clouds, returning the darkness to the night.

With comforted aches in my thoroughly soaked heart, I stepped out of the revived grass onto crunchy lifeless earth, my bare-feet leaving prints behind that would vanish by morning as if I were never there.

The Lord knew I was there, though, for He heard my prayers; He always does.
I don't know why the things that happen, do. All I know is that when they happen, I can't trust myself or my own instincts, for I'm human; I can't see the whole picture. I look into the night sky and see darkness, where God sees the absence of light in my location, for its being allocated elsewhere only to return shortly. All I have to do is trust in Him, for if I could see the whole picture, I'd understand.

He can, so He does understand. He knows far more than I could ever dream of knowing,
so why bother with my own strength?
Lift with the legs, right?
If your back is broken, let God carry you; let Him be your legs. Trust Him, for He knows what He's doing and He will never let you down.

Scratch That; Reverse It.

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Once in a while, I have so much time and so little to do.

No....Wait-

Scratch that; reverse it. 

I have so much to do, and so little time. 

Ah- Much better. 

If  you're like me, you get overwhelmed by having a lot to do and a little time to do it all. 

I think they call what ensues...Chaos.
I would call it that, for I get thrown into a frenzy and don't know where to begin, so habitually, I don't. 

It's a habit I don't suggest picking up.

Example:
I run around and go from being somewhat task-oriented to-WhereOnEarthDoIBeginThisIsImpossible 

followed by self-imploding,

then nothing.

Yes, as I said prior: chaos.

Ever finish a puzzle to find one piece is missing? 

You know that feeling of shear frustration that follows? I'm too familiar with it. 

BUT I'm working on it.

***

What I find humbling about these moments of frenzy in particular, though, is that when my thoughts are at their max volume in my head, they plug my ears and God's voice is muted, but every time this happens, realization hits, I stop suddenly, and am brought to my knees.

 I pray. 

I have to, for God whispers to me acting as a bullhorn to my thoughts, saying, "Hey, it's okay. Start here".

Then suddenly I am somewhat task-oriented again and I can breathe. 

The traffic clears, and I can cross the road that is my mind without having to play Frogger. 

Though, it's only after I've shut down my thoughts long enough, that I can hear God's direction. He's always there, ALWAYS. 

All I have to do is go to Him.